Random...

          Lately , it seems like everything is going wrong...not just for me, I mean in general. Yesterday my friend was in a car accident and later that day, my other friend had to rush her son to Primary Children's Hospital for something they never knew about. Today my uncle's mother will probably die, and yesterday was the funeral for my cousin's two year old son who drowned in a bathtub. Why do things like this happen...its hard not to wonder why there is so much tribulation and trauma in the world. It all seems to happen right at the same time too...life will be fine and before you know it, everything seems to turn upside down. The real question is, how many of us stop to notice how the storm is affecting others beside yourself. I think its really easy to get caught up in MY problems, MY worries, and MY heartache; and, when I stop long enough to realize that there is other pain around me I begin to feel like the most selfish person alive.
          Everyone has different problems sure, and everyone experiences different TYPES of pain...but that doesn't make it any less real or awful for them. I believe that its important to stop for other people, to recognize the love others may be in need of. I think lately I have been so caught up in my own drama that I have forgotten to be compassionate, empathetic, or even considerate to the trials of those around me. I have been thinking about everything that is going on with my friends and my family and though it may sound sadistic, its actually comforting. I don't enjoy other people's pain and I certainly don't wish for problems or difficulties to arise for those I love, but it is nice to feel needed and help someone else; because, just for a little while it helps MY problems to fade and MY heartache to dim. I think that's the point...we are sent here to help each other aren't we. The past year has by far been the hardest of my life and I have started to see that though the world isn't the beautiful, shiny, place I once thought it was...it still holds enchantment.
          Maybe the magic in the world isn't found simply from living in it...maybe the magic is discovered when bad things happen and people step up. That's the real miracle...watching people change and develop into strong, courageous, REAL people to look up to and admire. These are the kinds of people who give us hope..who make us better. For me at least, it helps me look at a challenge as something that can be overcome-instead of a dream that has died. The hardest thing we all do is think what if...look to the past...REGRET...cry; and honestly, at the end of the day what is the point? It doesn't seem to help. It certainty doesn't change anything and it only makes it harder. So, we have to learn to look ahead, to try and laugh again, to find the FUN in life and to stop to help those who have forgotten. Its hard to imagine the effect of circumstances on anyone else, but the truth is, its NOT all about me. Sure my life has changed, but I believe that the most wonderful miracle of all will come out of the nightmare.
          I would like to believe that I am capable of being a person who can believe in something again...but we all aspire to do more. I want to inspire. I want to laugh. I want to love. I want to LIVE again. And maybe that means I will start searching for my answers in others problems. If I can help someone else, then something good has come out of my experience. If I can LEARN and GROW instead of shrink and hide, I will be a better person because of it. There is so much SADNESS in the world. Grief is not something anyone can truly handle or overcome alone. Bad things happen to good people and the world changes because it has to...WE have to. If we go through life and do nothing to help another person..if we MISS that, what have we truly learned or gained? What is the point without that? I think its the most important part of living...its the most important part of being me.
          Every part of life involves some kind of challenge, and when presented with the hard ones...you can give up or you can FIGHT BACK!! You can get up and change the things that you ARE in control of and you can change your attitude. Its so much easier said than done, but if we are all truly the author of our life stories, then its time to take back the pen. I especially have to STOP letting other people dictate my choices and my happiness. There will ALWAYS be those who will continually let you down, but it doesn't mean that you should lose YOUR faith. The truth is there are people who will never rise to the occasion, who will never learn this; and, while that is sad...it is something we will all deal with at one point or another. The sadness will always come; but, we can change the outcome. I can change the outcome. I can choose to TRY.