Forgive & Forget

         Today I was thinking about what it means to really forgive someone. The expression forgive and forget always seems to come up and a lot of times people do forgive...or think that they do, but have a lot of trouble forgetting. The question then becomes, is it really forgiveness if you can't forget? I think the main reason people can't forgive is because of the deep hurt that comes along with being offended or hurt. Anger is a secondary emotion, so a lot of people choose to stay angry in order to avoid dealing with what they are really feeling which is probably hurt or betrayal. If actions based entirely on anger occur, its usually not too hard to forgive and move on...its the hurts that are more complex. Using anger really can help block out the emptiness or lonliness we feel. Holding grudges and being angry not only takes a toll on the people we treat that way; but, moreso it takes a toll on us. If your heart is filled with hate and anger you can never really become the best version of yourself. I can't find true peace and happiness until I've learned how to let go of things that don't matter. It does take a lot of energy and conscious effort, but it can be done. I think the more time that has passed, the easier it becomes.
          Although, if you let anger and resentment build, it can change you. Sometimes when things happen to me, I have to take a step back and take time to really feel the hurt. Its not when your around other people that you are sad or feel the effects...its in the quiet moments when your all alone that you realize HOW MUCH your heart is hurting. If I stop to think about everything it almost feels like too much to take in. People are always going to disappoint you, that's just how it is. We try to hold people to a higher standard when we believe that everything is going good, but its just not fair. There are just different levels of hurting because people hurt you differently. I think for some people they really can't help it...their life is missing something or they can't feel good about themselves unless they tear you down. I have had that happen in my life and now, enough time has passed to where I feel like it just doesn't matter. I feel pity for those people...I pray for those who hate me, and wish good for those who despitefully use me; but, its always easier to talk about forgiving someone than actually doing it.
          That's probably because with most people its not that simple-to just make the choice that you are going to forgive, forget, and actually move on. However, truly it is that simple. So if there are people in my life that maybe haven't earned or deserve my forgiveness, why can't I find it for those people who do? Its because right now its all too fresh. I do hope that people I have hurt or offended will forgive me, and in time I hope I will be able to forgive everyone who ever wrongs me...but wouldn't it be better if we could choose to just not be offended. If things didn't really hurt so much, maybe it wouldn't even be a thought to cross our mind. The truth is we should try really hard to do the very best for everyone we meet and come in contact with. I do hope one day I can be slow to anger and speak softly to others. When I was growing up, my Grandpa used to tell me to have a forgiving view of people and realize that most of them are doing the best they can. I always believed that until recently, but I realized that I shouldn't let a few people change my perspective so dramatically. Most people really ARE trying to do their best and need a little help. To forgive means to cease to feel resentment against. I think forgiveness is important and its something that everyone should try really hard to not only think about, but to do. Make the best from what you have and give the rest a little time.