Farewell Snow College

          On Saturday, I graduated from Snow College after two long, beautiful, amazing, trying, and fun filled years. This entire last semester I have been pretty anxious about it-wanting just to come home and be done with Biology and Math, but when the day finally came to say goodbye...it was a lot harder than I thought. The last week of school (finals weeks) was absolutely perfect. We did everything: Denny's run, volleyball, small intimate campfire, huge bonfire, pizza and ice-cream, movies on the projector, hours making 'Thank You' cards, painting fingernails, Wal-Mart trips, anc cleaning parties. Last year through all of this it just felt as if I was taking a break (summer) and so it wasn't as sad-because I knew I would be returning. This year, I was VERY aware of the fact that this was probably going to be the last time I ever saw some of my friends. I counted down the days I got to sleep in my Snow College room for the last time ever. The fact that I never get to come back is really sad.
          Snow College did everything for me. Getting a degree was among the smaller rewards I recieved. I learned a lot about myself and other people. My testimony grew so much and I finally felt accepted again. My roommates were a huge part of this amazing experience. Last year I had a couple of really amazing roommates who carried me through. 'Dubb' was my room roommate and she became my absolute best friend. We did a lot together and shared much more than a room, we shared a life. We would stay up late watching movies, listening to music, going on adventures, sneaking into the noise building (sneaking is a loose term she technically had keys-but watch out for those janitors!). She became a person I could really rely on to carry me through and she never judged me. I can say so much about this girl, but it will have to wait until I can do a blog about just her.
          I also loved my two roommates: 'Cat' and 'Mare Bear'. 'Cat' had this amazing laugh that made everything feel better. It made you remember to smile and to let go of the small stuff. She got married last summer and I am really happy because she deserves her happily ever after. She will be a great Mom and I'm sure she is already a joy to have as a wife. I'm sad we didn't get closer before the year ended but I know she will always be a friend. 'Mare Bear' was a little different. She was the go to advice girl. She understood a lot of things that other people didn't. We ate ice-cream, talked, and she thought I made magic Mac & Cheese. We had a PE class together and it brought us really close. People had a hard time accepting and understanding our relationship but I don't care. She will always be a friend I trust.
          As much as I loved my roommates and my home last year, I just didn't understand what close meant until I moved into #8 this year. First semester I was gone a LOT and I missed out on a ton. I would usually hang out with the Red House/PP Gang, but as my life began to change dramatically (two family death's in five months, classes, personal things, etc.) I realized that my roommates were exactly what I needed. They didn't ignore me or my feelings or my problems-even my moodiness and concerns, they just understood. My other friends were nice on the surface, but they just didn't see me. I felt invisible and I needed more than a shoulder to cry on...I needed a friend. Thank heavens for the girls in #8. There just aren't words to express my gratitude. They made all the difference and they helped my heart begin to heal. They took the devestation in my life and turned it into a road leading closer to the Savior. They always made me feel accepted and cappable. At a time when I felt the weakest, they saw me as strong.
          People don't understand how to deal with it when death happens. They don't know how to handle it or how to handle it's survior's. I understand that, I have been around a lot of death my entire life;but, nothing like this year. I unexpectedly lost my Uncle who was only in  his early forties, and then five months later I lost my Grandmother who was in her early sixties. To try and explain the complete devestation would be impossible. I was so consumed in my grief that the world seemed to stop and I was frustrated that nobody cared enough to try and bring the colors back into my life. Most of my friends haven't experienced this kind of loss and I have a hard time with that. I wondered why God chose to make death a regular occurance in my friend and yet, my other friends didn't have to lose anyone close to them at all. I understand now. I was meant to come closer to the Savior and I have.
          I rely and trust HIM one-hundred percent. I am forever in his debt for his kindness and compassion. When no one listened, he let me pour out my heart and truly understood how I felt. He knows exactly how to succor his people of that I am SURE. Maybe I had to be ignored by my friends to find this experience-I don't know, but I am thankful for the consistency and love that is found through prayer. That being said, my roommtes were my true angels. I just can't say enough about them. It would be easy to pin-point how each one helped me, but I already did a blog about each of them. There just aren't words to say Thank You! I came to an apartment this year, and I found a home. I came to Snow College and my roommtaes became my family. I felt broken for a long time and I asked God for help. Not only did he send his blessings, he sent his angels to hand deliever them. When I really became aware of how much my roommates were doing for me, it made me want to be a better person and help other people.
          Service can truly heal any insecurity, depression, inadequacy, or trial-I promise. Snow College taught me that life really isn't about me or what I accomplish, it's about other people and what I do for them. If everyone could simply love God and love each other, then we wouldn't need any other commandments. There wouldn't be war, murder, stealing, lying, cheating, or envy. There would simply be: love, charity, service, and JOY. I want to do everything I can to let the people around me know that they matter. I want to make a difference because I chose to try. I can be a positive influence for someone else the way my roommates were for me. I don't want anyone to feel ignored or inferior because of tragedy or loss. What a lesson to learn...it changes everything, especially your perspective.
          Another thing I learned at Snow College was the basic homemaker role. I got a lot better at making my bed, keeping my room clean, and doing my dishes, but it was more than that. I learned that making a meal for the people you love is not a waste of time at all. I learned that creating a home instead of a house is worth the extra effort. I learned to take pride in myself and in our home and it made me feel as if maybe one day I could make a real difference as a wife and mother. I hope to take everything I learned in my quilting class to this part of my future life as well. Some of my roommates just dominate the cooking part of the homemaker and for a long time I felt really intimidated, but I learned a lot from these women :) AWESOME!
          To try and list everything that I learned at Snow College would take years. I have loved this place for two years it has been my home, my other family, my joy, my successes, my failures, my growth, and my life. Pulling out of Ephraim for the last time just made me bawl my head off. I couldn't stop the tears as I felt the overwhelming love of the Lord for me and for the people I shared a life with. If I can love these girls this much after just a year, I can't even fathom the love the Lord has for them. We should always treat everyone we come in contact with with this kind of love: the Savior's love. This love is unconditonal-it knows no limits, no failures, no judgements, it's just pure Christ-like love. Oh if we could just treat each other this way...how many problems would be solved? You can pick your friends, but God chooses your neighbors and you should love both the same: unconditionally.
          The ceremony was nice...a bit on the long side but it made me feel really important. For the last little bit before graduation I didn't really feel like it was that big of an accomplishment...just another phase in my life; but, it was much more than that-perhaps the greatest adventure of my life. As I walked into the gymnasium and heard my teachers clapping, saw my family's smiling faces, I knew this was the beginning of an entirely new adventure. I felt so loved and supported-a feeling I hope everyone felt...and for the first time in a while, I was PROUD of myself. Not so much for earning a degree (though that is pretty impressive eh?), but more for realizing that the person I should be and the person I want to be finally match up. I graduated with honors and I got a beautiful lei flown in from Hawaii. We took tons of pictures and it was the single most emotional moment of my life. The words bitter-sweet just don't define the true conflict I was feeling.
          Right now, I am really excited to get on to the next chapter of my life; but, I know when August rolls around my heart will start aching a little, and my memory will start spinning. Throughout my two years at Snow, not only have my goals and desires changed, I personally have changed a lot. Both years at Snow College taught me different things, my experiences were completely different. The first one was much different from the second one, but either way-I lucked out. My confidence and passion has been restored-an accomplishment that in and of itself I deemed to be impossible. Thank You oh THANK YOU SNOW COLLEGE! I love you so much! All of you: the people, the teachers, the activites, the roommates, the friends, the classes, and Eprhaim. I will miss my little quiet hick town more than words will ever adequately express but the easiest way to say it is: nothing in the world will ever be quite like Snow College. I will NEVER forget you.